Relative Something

*this* John W. Hays’ take on things and experiences

Neighing In

with 2 comments

John is out of town for the weekend, and he didn’t want to bring his computer –in order to keep his travels light for flying– so he has asked the animals to fill in for him for a few days. It’s the least they could do, in the face of all the loving care he bestows on them day after day…

The Herd Makes Themselves Heard

Hunter: I’d like–

Legacy: I’ll do the talking, thank you very much. [The three chestnuts instantly defer.] Since John is gone again, we are happy to cover for him on this crazy blog thing he is always pondering on. We can hardly get a word in edgewise through his busy brain when he is toiling away among us because he is constantly ruminating over what wild, exaggerated story he can make up about our behavior.

What? You didn’t think I knew the word ruminating? Flbbblllbbbbhh. Excuse me. I had something in my nose.

Hunter: Can I–

Cayenne: Pardon me, but are we going to graze out in the pasture soon?

Legacy: As I was saying, the stories John writes about us are all blown way out of proportion. The man has no sense of scale. If he would just quiet his mind long enough to recognize the simple intricacies of what we would like to teach him, the tall tales he spins would come back down to earth and finally speak to the wider audience we think our messages deserve.

Hunter: Don’t you–

Dezirea: I just noticed some movement up on that hill beyond the neighbor’s outbuildings. Are any of you concerned?

Legacy: If John would spend a little more time making sure our hay was out here before we want it, and not after, I wouldn’t have to spend so much time staring him down when he walks by. And what the heck is it about his fascination with our feces? But enough about him. I can’t say enough good things about Cyndie. Imagine the things we could accomplish together if she would stop asking all those doctors to do surgeries on her joints. I worry that she might run out of limbs to repair and decide to start in on my aching knobby knees. <cracking sounds>

Hunter: I–

Legacy: Honestly, I’m not the complainer this is starting to make me seem. It’s been a while since I had access to such a wide audience and some of those issues hadn’t been purged for a while. I guess it’s time I should get the herd back to grazing. This place really is a paradise. [Nickering of agreement from the chestnuts.] If you ever have a chance to visit here someday, we would love to meet you. Wintervale is radiating with love and affection. We, the herd, are thrilled to be a part of this great adventure John and Cyndie have going.

As John might be heard to mutter on occasion, Namaste. If I could bring my hooves together in front of my chest, I would. Just picture me nodding my head up and down at you, with emphasis.

Hunter: Bye!

Legacy: I heard that.

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Written by johnwhays

July 21, 2017 at 6:00 am

2 Responses

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  1. I read your blog everyday and never leave a reply, but today is different as I love hearing from the horses, great dialogue from them. Have a great week end and give my love to the two of my favorite family friends and really like family to us
    .

    Marie and Fred

    Marie Friswold

    July 21, 2017 at 9:40 pm

    • Maybe I should ask them to write more often! Wilkus’s say “Hi!”

      johnwhays

      July 21, 2017 at 10:34 pm


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